• By -


Shouldn’t be a single age for all individuals. Just keep in mind that your genitals mature before your prefrontal cortex.


Yep, yall should be waiting till your prefrontal cortex develops into a frontal cortex! Edit: This is one of the stupidest fuckin things i’ve ever said, how dare you give me 2.7k updoots.


I'm getting a raging frontal cortex right now. I think I'm ready...


A good frontal quartet always gets me in the mood. Hot.


Oh I see you like trains


Nothing like four part harmony - so sexy


“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” ― Robin Williams


Yep, this is a very solid approach in my mind. One person might feel ready for sex early, and another one never feels ready for it.


You don't want some one fucking your brains out before your cortex is fully frontal.


Love this approach. I’ll be taking this for future discussions, comrade.


Southpark chef...17! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylkHE1k64gs


Children Chef is always right


Except about that whole Scientology thing.


Didn't it turn out that Isaac Hayes was very sick, and he didn't quit South Park over the Scientology episode. His crazy scientologist son quit for him?


Holy crap. You're right. https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/7510390/isaac-hayes-didnt-quit-south-park-scientology-did-for-him-son


Ah ha! I was wrong about it being his son who did it though. It was his son who set the record straight. I've always chosen to believe this story and don't rewatch Super Adventure Club. No need to sully Chef's good name.


Except when he joined the Super Adventure Club That wasn't right...


He’s gonna **make love** tooo *the children.*


I was a late bloomer myself but 355,687,428,096,000 seems a little bit on the old side.


Underappreciated. Made me laugh!




That’s exactly what I was gonna say lol They said, “Why 17?” Chef said, “Just 17. That’s all you need to know.”


17. You’re ready.


My mom actually had sex at 17 then had me at 18.


You were born 18 years old? :O


Should be the top answer. Screw all that "when you feel ready" shit, 17 is the legitimate correct answer. Anything more is overthinking it.


17. You’re ready.


That's what I thought of as soon as I read the title. 17 is also what I said to myself when I first saw that episode just before Chef's reveal.


You mean 17 if you’re in love?


Nope. 17, you’re ready.


What if I'm not ready?




You’re ready.


Whatever ya feel comfortable with. Some people have sex in their teen years.. some don't get / make the opportunities until their 20's, some wait til marriage. Your sex life and sexuality is no ones business but your own.


Some people pull a Newton or a Tesla and never get laid


How else would they get their genius wizard powers


which kind of weird since Newton was focused on being attractive


Honestly not that weird. I remember reading about him on wikipedia I think. His father died when he was young and his mother abandoned him with his grandmother while she went off to marry a british noble who he didn't get along with at all. If I remember correctly he even threathened to burnntheir manor with them inside while he was 13. I can easily see him conclude that his dad had sex once and died so he decided to not take the risk


Homie is jokin' about Newton's law of attraction


that last sentence made the wole comment look like another joke tbh


Ah yes, the oft forgotten Newton's Fourth Law of Motion: if one person has sex with another person, both persons will experience bodily dissolution.


When history says they had no partner then they were usually gay and forced to hide there love.




Hey, if you want to marry a pigeon, that’s coo.’


Ah a fellow pigeonsexual I see. There’s dozens of us


Since birds aren't real, is it the same as a robosexual?


You mean flocks of you


Dementia is a hell of a way to go but I'm glad he passed with a roof over his head.


Don't think that's true for Newton or Tesla. They were just weird guys who focused so much on math they didn't get in any serious relationships.


Your comment is "nerds who died a virgin" erasure


or asexual. I know gay is more common, but most people think Tesla was probably ace from the way he wrote.


or.. they just never got laid?


Nah its my business as well. Are you guys fuckin or what?


You offering?


Are you looking to get unsatisfied?


Disappoint me, daddy!


LMFAO 😆... I'm weak.


I'm almost 27 and am confident that I'll be the next 40 year old virgin.


There is nothing inherently wrong with that. I had sex for the first time in 5 years this past weekend.. and it was a let down. If I may offer some unsolicited advice.. i'd examine your attitudes towards sex, sexuality, and relationships to people in general. Like I am asocial. I don't open up enough to allow opportunities.


When you’re ready and not a moment before. Edit: I forgot I was on the internet and needed to openly stipulate that consent is crucial and non-negotiable.


Yup. My friends and I all started early (age 15-16) and absolutely no one was the better for it, not us and not the girls we had sex with. I look back at it now and it's pretty horrifying. Everyone was immature and stupid, feelings were hurt in various ways all around and something that should be beautiful and fun became ugly and shameful. Some people were envious of us because we always seemed to be having so much fun but I'd say the whole thing gave me issues later in life. I'm all for sexual freedom but it should be done wisely.


Same - as a woman I kept chasing that empty thrill way into adult hood. Wish I would of waited for real.


I was 15 too, it’s all cause I had a friend who would make fun of me. Every person we met she told them to just “take my virginity already” I liked this one guy so much that I thought I had to sleep with him to make him choose me over his on again off again GF. I did it in his dirty disgusting bed, It hurt horribly. I didn’t even know that men ejaculate. I didn’t know that’s pretty much what ended sex. Then he told me I had to leave because the on again off again girlfriend called him and he had to go get her. I spent years after that sleeping with dudes because I thought it was the polite thing to do and my self esteem was garbage. I just had a daughter and I plan to be really honest with her when she’s older about my experience. I want her to have so much self esteem she can tell dudes to pound sand until she’s ready. And I hope it’s not until she’s an adult, not a teenager who thinks they’re an adult like I did.


I understand that self esteem issue in my own way. Had a girl try to rush into sex and I wasnt comfortable at all because it was so awkward and weird and literally the first thing she said when we met was "oh, thought you were better looking". I couldn't perform and she started making fun of me and my member, it was devastating for my confidence that's always been low to begin with. Still havent been able to put myself out there again even though it's been over a year.


I started later than all my girlfriends because one - I didn’t fall in love ( I somehow missed the puppy love phase), and I couldn’t imagine sleeping with someone I don’t love. And two- all the stories my girlfriends told me about their sex life didn’t sound appealing at all.


I also didn't experience that phase. I may be demisexual, but there is insufficient data for a meaningful answer.


I wish more people viewed it this way. In your teens, you are in the midst of hormones going crazy and not experienced enough to understand what sex and love are all about. Bringing sex into a relationship instantly makes it more intense and also ups the agony when it ends. Sex is meant to bond two people, and when you break up, you are now tearing a second level of bonding you don't even understand and cause yourself much more pain. I know some will disagree with me and say that's not how it works, but the act itself is very intimate, no matter how you look at it. Two people become one, physically and emotionally, and by trying to reduce it to a simple physical act, you may as well be tearing off a piece of your soul, leaving you with less and less as you have more and more partners.   EDIT: Wow, some of you really got offended by my opinion, huh? I even stated that some will disagree, but I'd dare say a fair few also agree. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, so don't expect me to react to your butthurt if you disagree vehemently, especially those who think my opinion is ignorant or stupid and feel the need to make themselves feel better by saying so. It's not like I haven't seen and heard your arguments before. Opinions and assholes, everyone's got both, have fun.


Agree with both of you. In my cohort no one was still a virgin past 16. A few started as young as 13. Generally I think this was emotionally destructive, particularly for the girls. EDIT. To those who have now responded about shaming, I spoke purely from my own experience without judging anyone. To each his or her own. However, I think you should ask yourself why you feel triggered by a comment that was about someone else’s life.


I was friends with pretty much everyone in my cohort and I believe aside from a small group of people, the majority of them started having sex between 17-19. I live in Melbourne, Australia and my school was predominately white Aussies, so not a conservative culture either. I wonder why there’s such a big difference!


Same; eldest millennial and from Germany. There were very few people having sex before 17. Might be linked to level of sex ed available; arguably mine was mostly from a teen mag and not school, but they discussed a lot of issues, physical and emotional. Moved to UK and was shocked at how early people seem to start here.


I agree with you, starting your sex life early is a recipe for emotional chaos and mental anguish, more so for girls because they almost always bear the brunch of harmful rumors, verbal and emotional abuse, sexual coercion, and even sexual assault once they become sexually active. To be clear: I'm talking specifically about beginning your sexual life early, as for the boys, there's a lot of confusion, and becoming emotionally stunted.


Even adults have no good idea about what love and good healthy sex entails, so not too early, but not to late in life either (because you live and learn)


I cant agree with this enough! I recently split up with my girlfriend and i miss the sex we had because of the powerful intimacy and bonding it created! I felt love not lust when i did it! Made the relationship so much more powerful! Like you said. A part of my soul is now torn away and i feel i will never be the same.....


This is an easy thing to say, and the standard response, but I think what the post is *really* asking is: define *readiness* for sex.


Education is always the sticking point here. Emotional maturity is all well and good and desire for intimacy is born of culture showing it as a positive only. Knowing how it all works, knowing what is required, knowing how to ask instead of take, knowing what to even **do**, that is all horrifically withheld from people at the ages prior to it mattering. Everyone makes a horrified face when it's suggested but children need to start learning about sex before they are physically capable of having it. And talking about it with adults needs to be made acceptable in every context. I know grown-ass adults who are incapable of discussing it because society taught them not to, and the inability to compare notes is stifling.


Good point. There’s a few things to show readiness for sex but I’d say one of them is being 100% comfortable in talking about it with the sexual partner. I’ve had my little sister ask me ‘how do you ask for this, how do you ask about that, how do you bring this topic up…’ and she seemed shocked when i’m like you say exactly that. Ultimately if you can’t openly talk about sex in full detail before during and after sex because you feel embarrassed or something, you are not ready for sex Edit: maybe I went overboard with the “100%” comfortability. Sex is certainly awkward especially at first but if you can’t push through that awkwardness in order to express concerns, questions, etc. then you ain’t ready . You must be comfortable enough to be able to express your needs


I’m 30 and I’m still not 100% comfortable talking about sex. I guess I shall tell my husband we need to stop! In all seriousness, this is what I’ve always said. If you’re not comfortable discussing sex with your partner, then you shouldn’t be having sex with your partner.


Lol I’m 31 and was thinking the same thing while reading. Sorry husband!


Emotional maturity. Thats the only true marker. Sadly, its rarely the case tho.


In which case a lot of adults shouldn't be having sex either.


yes.. this is true.. being a foster dad and bio dad of 2 kids, i can tell you that the things they teach in foster care training and requirements they have for you to be a parent of "state kids" is something all parents should have.. i see parents YELLING and SCREAMING at toddlers.. they are 2-3yo, they don't understand what they are even doing wrong to earn this type of behavior that those parents won't even do to a co-worker. Emotional maturity is missing from a vas majority of people, the ability to stay calm, speak love and truth to your kids, and raise them with good morals. if you can't do this as a single person with your own self, then your definitely not ready for sex that could lead to you being responsible for a little one.


Yeah but kids are stupid as shit and think they’re ready waaaaay earlier than they are.


Thats mostly hormones acting up to keep the species going. Its kind of an outdated mechanism. We don't need girls having babies at 12 years old anymore.


^ This is the correct answer


It’s so fucking annoying when people do that on Reddit. Just because your comment doesn’t specifically include that doesn’t mean you disagree with it. Then a hundred comments come in saying the same thing while adding nothing to the actual conversation


When everyone involved is ready and not a moment before.


Gotta make sure the audience has settled into their seats first.


Will there be an intermission? I have a small bladder and I dont want to interrupt the performers.


Depending on the performers, your "interruption" could become a part of the show


The Golden Girls


“When you’re ready” applies to both people, so consent was implied.


Wait what is sex ?


The number 6 in German.


Danish, actually (if I remember this right). In German it's spelled differently, even though pronounced the same.


It’s the number six in Swedish as well. Sex also means.. sex in Swedish which is obviously hilarious to anyone in elementary school. We used to see who could make the longest grammatically correct sentence with “sex” in every word. My contribution was “sex sexiga sexarbetare sextade sex sexiga sextanter 16:16” which translates to ”six sexy sex workers sexted six sexy sextants at 4:16 PM”.


That's honestly a really funny sentence. In german we usually just try to see who can make the longest word that still means something.


In Danish it’s seks but in Swedish it’s sex


In middle school Swedish classes this would cause giggles around the class during the first few weeks, because teenagers are teenagers. Also, for some reason the teacher made it perfectly clear to us all that "sjutton", or seventeen, was also a curse word. She had to state this multiple times during different classes. I don't know why.


Baby don’t hurt me






Apparently its what parent's did to make us


My pronouns ate dad/daddy


You must have very hungry pronouns.


Mother Nature says it's 13 or 14. Don't listen to Mother Nature.


A lot of my middle school classmates listened to Mother Nature…


Are you American? Because losing the v-card at 13 is *very* uncommon (at least nowadays) for American teens.


I think I knew two people at that age who did it, but the entire school kinda avoided them.


yeah my friend got suspended cause got caught doing it with his girlfriend in the choir room. and he’s like 14


Bro why in the choir room


The acoustics.


it depends on where in america you’re from. one of my highschool girlfriends lived in a little desert city in california of like 13k people and there were way more teenagers having sex than not. a lot of them even lost their virginity to teachers at school :/ it was such a fucked up place but i visited half a dozen times anyway


I lost my virginity at 13 to a girl who was 16 and ended up having a very long-term relationship that was probably more reasonable than anyone I've ever had since


Yeah. In most women, even though they start having periods, the body is not fully developed to actually grow a baby. On men, not all sperm is viable at this age too. So shut up, mother nature.


Mother Nature doesn't care about the individual. "Fuck it, some of them will survive, or not, whatever". Mother Nature is a statistician.


> Mother Nature is a statistician. Underrated comment right here.


I'll be 20 next month and I'm still a virgin. I honestly believe age shouldn't be the deciding factor. It's important to wait until you feel ready.


The jokes surrounding the virginity, everyone shaming a virgin guy just because he hasn't done it yet is so annoying, I mean come on mind your own business, it's better to do it with someone you care about rather than just getting it done with a random person ¯\ \_(ツ) _/¯


Girls get picked on for it too. I get messed with about being a virgin all the time. I'm a virgin by choice, my ex tried to get me to sleep with him all the time, I had the opportunity. But I wasn't ready yet. I CHOOSE to be a virgin until I'm ready. And there's nothing wrong with that.


Good for you. There absolutely is nothing wrong with that.


Of course. There's only one person I would even trust enough for that and I'm not even sure how he feels about me since we've been friends for so long lol.


FYI, as someone who's fallen for a few friends, it's worth a conversation with him.! i mean, what if you get run over by a bus tomorrow?


I plan to talk with him but I need to take some time for myself too I just got out of a bad relationship


That's wise. Best of luck when the time is right!


Thanks. I hope he likes me too


I’m just gonna say, I married my best friend. Good luck. And don’t stress too much if it doesn’t work out. Try to hold on to the friendship if it doesn’t.


very wise and this makes me happy to see


My biggest hope is that he likes me too




I'm almost willing to bet money! What's better than having a bff? Marrying your bff:D


>i mean, what if you get run over by a bus tomorrow? Probably won't be having that talk then


It's funny... This is a discussion only important while going to school. It stopped right away the second people started working and had different things to worry about all of the sudden. And not who might still be a virgin and who's not. And good for you that you want to wait until you feel ready. I wished I would have done the same.


Unless you work around a young group of people. I did years ago and I was surprised how many 20-21 year old were still obsessed with who was still a virgin or who they thought was gay.


I have a 49 years old coworker who is obsessed with the sex life of our 26 years old colleague... But I guess thats just him being in his midlife crisis. It's still creepy sometimes because they could literally be father and son.


Sometimes it isn't even because we don't have the opportunity. Sometimes it's just that we aren't mentally there yet, have other priorities, or just aren't in the mood. For me personally my first relationship left me emotionally unavailable for a couple years. It isn't until now that I'm finally able to come to terms with it and move on with my life. However during that time I wouldn't have wanted anyone to come to contact with me in a sexual sense because I just wasn't there yet.


Cries in 34


6 more years and you get your own movie!


Thanks man.


I feel like it's probably easier for girls to lose it that it is for you guys because it seems like there are loads of desperate guys as opposed to girls. I've had plenty of opportunities to lose my virginity if I wanted and I feel like that's just part of being a girl, or maybe it's because I'm easy to approach.


It’s totally easy to find a guy who will use you to get off, hard to find a guy who cares that you both get off.


Exactly. Having sex might be easier, but having sex that is good? Even a lot of women in long term relationships don't orgasm regularly. Like guys, imagine you could easily find someone willing to have sex, but then the sex is just you giving her oral and then fingering her until she comes. Once she's had her orgasm, she mumbles "was it good for you?" And then falls asleep.


Men die of thirst in a desert, women in an ocean


you're right, it's mostly part of being a girl. guys typically have FAR lower standards. (this has been a topic of many peer reviewed studies in fact)


Yay I'm actually right about something for a change lol


Meh, I'm 27 and I don't really care that I am still a virgin


Same here. I don’t know if I’m just asexual/greysexual or something but it doesn’t really occupy my mind that much. I would like to have my first kiss soon though…really hope that will happen before I turn 30 at least.


Same here being a virgin doesn't bother me. It's not a bad thing.


It's not a bad thing so long as you are happy with yourself regardless. It's a bad thing when you become like the bitter incel people who turn what they feel is rejection into hatred for others.


I'm 23 and I'm still a virgin, I just haven't met anyone who likes me, also I'm not the kinda guy who's able to just go out and somehow find someone to do it with for the night, I just don't have that kind of thinking


There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m of the same mindset; not really looking for something temporary, I want to lose mine to someone who is going to be a stable person in my life. I had planned on having my first with my ex when we got married, but the more I was with him the more I realized I am far happier being single. That’s not saying he was a bad guy, I just like my independence.


Probably need to add a caveat of "minimum" age. Virginity into adulthood isn't really a problem but underage sex kind of is, especially past a certain threshold.


It's funny you say this, because my girlfriend waited until 22 and she says she regrets not losing it in high school. She said because she waited so long it became part of her identity and the pressure got bigger the longer she waited and it became a bigger deal. She became known as the virgin so when she lost it... She felt lost.


That’s sad. People shaming somebody for something that is so personal and the fact that it became her identity is just make it sadder. Hope she didn’t stay like that for too long.


I think you misunderstood... She was proud of being a virgin for so long, which was part of the problem. When she lost it she felt like she had nothing to be proud of anymore. But as she grew older she realized it wasn't really something to be proud of. People make too big of a deal about "the first time".


As you said the problem is that she was proud to be a virgin for so long, that is something that shouldn’t define her; that’s the sad part for me. Sorry if I didn’t express myself correctly, English is not my first language.


I was 21 when I lost my viginity to my now wife. Not that I was saving it or holding out. I was shy and didn't feel the need for a random hookup or anything.
















I got my first frickin award in 3 years, :0


You lost your award virginity at 3 years. Take this award virgins silver and never forget me brother!


Thank you Kind Sir.


At 4:20 PM


Tbh it should be a good partner rather than a good age ! 🤷🏻‍♀️ Obviously age matters guys but i wasn’t trying to focus on the part that just putting yourself out there to have sex at a certain age makes no sense. I cant imagine someone being mature enough to decide their goodwill before 18


When you're 13 it's not so easy to realize that your 21 year old "boyfriend" isn't a good partner.


Hopefully that goes without saying, but unfortunately this does happen


Never, let's just end humanity


More upvotes here please


I applaud the sense of humor of the people who gave me the helpful award


Redditors of r/askreddit, what is the sexiest sex you've ever sexed? Mmmm, sex


Dont forget lol sexy sexy 420 69 reddit has sexxy sex stories 69 69 lol secks


Maybe there should be a new rule: Serious responses not allowed.


This thread is even worse, since it is basically "What is the _youngest_ you should have sexy sex?" based on the responses whether the OP intended it to be or not.


I'm in my mid twenties and still a virgin. All these answers are pretty heartbreaking to me. EDIT: Thank you all for your kind words, encouragement, and personal anecdotes. I never realized how many people regret losing their virginity at such a young age. And it is true. There is no rush. I'll just take things one day at a time from now on and be more happy with myself. Thank you.


If it makes you feel any better, pretty sure most people here are throwing out bare minimum ages. Hell, even if they aren’t, rushing to do it with someone you don’t really like just to lose your v-card faster is a recipe for regrets


I lost my virginity at 19 to a one night stand because it was made out to be such a huge deal and I just wanted to get it over with. It wasn’t good. The next time was with someone I really cared about and who cared about me. I wish I had waited.


I lost my virginity at the same age as you. I did it because I wanted to, not for peer pressure, with a person I choose and technically it wasn't a one night stand. But I still regret it, even if I wanted to do it. One can wish you have waited for the moment you truly felt you were ready but the experience could have sucked anyway. What I'm trying to say is, don't get hung up too much on the "what if's"


There’s no age when you “should” be having sex. You’re ready when you feel like you are and you understand the implications. Don’t let anyone pressure you into thinking otherwise.


I think these answers are mostly coming from a place of “if you do it sooner than X age, you risk having a very unhealthy relationship with sex that can be detrimental for your development.” That doesn’t mean that losing your virginity later is a bad thing.


Frankly as long as it's with other equally aged high schoolers and they are using protection. Just at the age ranges around then. I'm an old fuck and I don't want to hear about it, see it, think about it, or be presented with it in any way. Just be safe, and smart.


I too am old fuck. No babies, no disease, hidden away from all perception. That is all I ask.


Never. Virginity for life!!


Keep going hard…. Well, you know what I mean


Remember: you might become a Wizard if you keep going for long enough


I would say that there is definitely a lower limit but not a higher limit. Generally, teens with each other starting at 15, then just whenever someone is ready.


Good rule of thumb, if you aren't mature enough to buy condoms, you aren't mature enough to have sex.


Adding here to say if you aren't mature enough to say "penis" and "vagina", can't bring yourself to buy condoms, don't understand consent and/or will brag to your friends later about every detail, then you shouldn't be having sex either.


So, like, somewhere between 27 and never?


I don't know many 27 years old who only just learnt how to say "vagina" without being embarrassed 😅 I started having sex at 17 but I didn't understand consent. I definitely was not ready.


When people start to talk about age for sexual activity I always get frustrated by people trying to argue about immaturity of teenagers. "I'm x years old and omg x-y year olds are complete children ". The x can be as high as you like. The thing is, puberty makes most people want sex. They generally don't want it with just anybody and they aren't really mature enough to have serious relationships, but denying their desire is only going to leave them more open to abuse. Give them comprehensive sexual education so they don't feel the need to test rumors or porn tropes and can be responsible if they do choose to experiment with their peers. If only people willing to acknowledge their sexuality are people wanting to take advantage of it, there will be lot of teenagers taken advantage of. Also maturity isn't purely physical characteristic, so limiting sexual expression and experimentation too much, will just delay their maturity.


A normal age is 16-18. A good age is 18-20 I feel.


Ditto this. I lost mine on my 18th birthday and I'm a little surprised people do it before then. 18-20 is probably a better range. Obviously "when you're ready" is the best answer but I think your answer generally holds if you have to use numbers.


Absolutely. I understand why people have sex at 16 (I was one of them) but looking back the risks were something I could not have managed. I'm just thankful there were no lasting concequences, but I'm aware there could've been which is why I advise against under 18.


17 is when I first had sex... I dont think thats too bad of an age. I would say at least 16.


There is no "good" or "normal" age. It's more about maturity, and it's also very important to consider your sense of self-esteem and your respect for your partner (and their respect for you). Sex can be fun and silly, or it can be romantic, kinky, whatever. It can be with someone you love, or it can be with a stranger, and it can still be great. But the main thing, if you're having sex for the very first time, is to feel confident in your sense of self and know that this is what you really want and be safe. Knowing it was your educated choice, rather than a whim at your first opportunity, is probably the only way to avoid having regrets. I wouldn't feel comfortable stating a particular age but I would say, in general, most high school kids aren't yet that secure in themselves, hence why it is probably more common to make choices that you'll later regret at that age - for all genders! But it depends on your particular situation. Also, you can definitely be too young to have sex, but you can never be too old. There's nothing wrong with waiting - from what I've heard it seems to be more and more common for people to wait until their 20s to have sex for the first time. Certainly there is still a stigma about being a 40-year-old virgin, but really, who gives a fuck. You do you. Mature adults don't care who you have or haven't fucked in the past. Oh, and waiting until marriage is equally as dumb as not moving in together before marriage - doomed. VIRGINITY IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT BTW


18. The consequences are adult real.