T O P

Inattentive house-thief gets what's coming to him.

Inattentive house-thief gets what's coming to him.

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gratefulphish420

From that view, I thought he was going to get something heavy dropped on his head.


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Gilgameshbrah

One might argue those are heavier than anything material he could've gotten dropped on his head


Iored94

What about a piano? Those are pretty heavy.


psychxticrose

I was expecting an anvil


UberN00b719

As long as it's an ACME anvil.


Slyrentinal

Maybe It’s what Gilgamesh would’ve wanted


TenTonsOfAssAndBelly

Can we enjoy one video on the interwebs without it always leading back to Gilgamesh?


shadowblaze25mc

Gilgamesh is inevitable


Human_Evolution

The original worldwide flood story. Never forget.


Senseiaki

It wasn’t world wide… it was a local story from Mesopotamia.


Seakawn

All global flood stories are influenced from local weather from particular regions. They see all of their land being flooded and assume or imagine that the entire world must be getting flooded, too. That doesn't change the fact that the *stories* are of global floods. Unless you're saying that Gilgamesh's flood story wasn't global, but local? It's been a while since I've read it. I thought it was a global flood in the story.


[deleted]

It's a flood aimed at ending all life. So yeah, global would be the right description.


kickme2

I was expecting hot oil.


soman789

thought he was gonna whip it out and piss on him. word to nicki minaj


idelarosa1

I was expecting a brick but shoot yours is better


Lozsta

Out again within 12 hours, a court case that will last a half day then a non custodial sentence slap on the wrist with a tiny victim surcharge. Really wish they had got something to the face.


DocLat23

Dude broke into my parents house through a back door. My mom who’s deaf saw his arm come through the window he broke. She unplugged her iron and pressed the side of his face when he stuck his head in the window for a look around. Police found him hiding under a bush with an iron print on the side of his face. He got off on a plea bargain, prosecutors never contacted my folks. Mom saw him slinking around the neighborhood a couple weeks later. Dude killed his mother for drug money about a month later and is doing hard time now.


PM_me_your_whatevah

Having gone to court on the victim’s side of things, it’s incredibly scary and frustrating how many times a psychopath can go in and out of jail before they decide to stop letting them out. The guy I’m talking about had been in and out of juvenile hall and rehab and jail since he was in middle school. He had beaten the shit out of several girlfriends and random people, raped girls that were too afraid to turn him in. Robbed houses, robbed people with a fake gun. The last time I went to one of his hearings was for an incident where he was riding in the car with his mom, she pissed him off, so he grabbed the wheel and tried to swerve into oncoming traffic. He did some time for that and then got out again. Then he got hauled back in for shooting a stolen gun out of a moving vehicle. I don’t remember if he got out after that, but eventually he did get locked up for serious time. Thing is, he even admitted he liked being in jail. He was a huge guy at 6’7”, 300 lbs. He said he liked jail because he was usually the biggest guy and he could make smaller guys suck his dick. This guy just lived to terrorize people and to do whatever the hell he felt like doing. That attitude didn’t serve him well in prison. He violated a rule of the gang he joined and they had a mob beat him to death in the yard. Never have I felt so happy to hear about someone dying. Because even when he was locked up there was always this fear that he’d get out on some sort of technicality. People like this just don’t even deserve any of the air on this planet.


AzimuthZenith

As a Canadian cop I deal with this constantly. Most people don't realize that the lions share of crime that occurs is committed by a relatively small group of people. But in areas where the system is just a revolving door, they're free to go back to their ways and do it all over again. It teaches them nothing other than how inconsequential repercussions really are (not to mention how for some people, being in jail is better than being free). We're now starting to come across people filing lawsuits against the justice system for their poor decisions regarding incarcerating prolific offenders. There's now a great deal of precedent on how this is a massive mistake and in an increasing number of circumstances, had the system pulled its weight the first time around, the incidents that followed their oversight would never have happened. Most notable example I can think of is a male charged with 2nd degree murder released from custody who then went to a residence and nearly killed another person with a machete within days of his release. He then got an attempted murder charge for that. He was released *again* and was located attempting to go back to the same residence and was finally held. This is an extreme example but there are no shortage of incidents where this type of thing has happened. I've literally lost count of how many times I have arrested the same person twice in a 24hr period for the exact same offense. And my hands are tied because judges orders supercede my powers regardless of if they're making the clearly wrong decision. We also have the infuriating issue of people not being held accountable for even the offenses their found guilty of. In Canada, we're supposed to have mandatory minimum sentences for offenses as per the criminal code. Unfortunately bad case law has made it so that this is 100% negotiable. Like people with a mandatory minimum sentence of 2 years getting "time served" which is usually less than a week in jail. They've also gotten incredibly loose with the usage of concurrent sentences instead of consecutive sentences. Which, if you're not aware, means that if they're found guilty of 15 car thefts and were sentenced to 1 year for each, they don't get 15...they only serve 1 year for all 15. We recently had a male go to court with nearly 100 outstanding charges on dozens of files. He plead guilty to only 4 charges and the rest were withdrawn and he spent less than a year in jail. A decent portion of these charges are violent offenses as well. And now he's back out and doing the exact same thing as when he got picked up the first time. I'm not the kind of person to say everyone who breaks a law *deserves* jail time. I'm not the kind of person to say that some people aren't disadvantaged in life and that has shaped the person they are. I'm the kind of person who knows none of that matters. The bottom line is *"do these people hurt people?"* If the answer is yes, we need to take the task of making sure they don't hurt more people seriously. Otherwise what's the point?


Vectorman1989

The police in a town near me tweet a lot of their daily coming and going like arrests etc. (no personal details, just "arrested man for shoplifting") One day they tweeted that they arrested someone for driving under influence of drugs. [The next day they tweeted they arrested them again for the same offence](https://twitter.com/LevenmouthPol/status/1355106884936749057?t=sZgD9c9-r1PhAYoFzZN84Q&s=19) My wife works in retail and basically has a the same shoplifters steal for a while, go to jail, get out, steal again, back in jail and so on.


gerryhallcomedy

Canadian Probation officer here. One of my offenders, currently on three separate probation orders for assaulting his mother, a random stranger, and his g/f in separate incidents, recently got picked up a Northern Ontario town for randomly assaulting two women...and he was released on his own recog smh. I asked the arresting officers why and they said judges won't let them keep guys in detention up there unless they pretty much kill someone.


PM_me_your_whatevah

Thanks for taking the time to share that. I’ve met great cops and shitty cops and everything in between. One of my best friends growing up was a cop for a few years until he got frustrated. He’s a genuinely good person and really wanted to help people.


emage426

Ty.... Keep fighting the good fight... U have my up most respect and understanding.. Kind stranger


TheSocialGadfly

That’s some Home Alone-type energy, right there.


Desperate-Ad-8068

Is your mum Kevin Macalister? Edit. Shit I only just processed the last part. Fuck it’s nuts how someone’s life can go from robbery to murder and just escalate. Glad your mum was ok.


Lozsta

Sorry to hear about your mums ordeal but she sounds like she dealt with it perfectly. Such a shame that something wasn't done so they could have avoided the later issue with his own mother. Absolute scum.


PhilL77au

I dunno, it looks like he went face 1st into that pile of broken glass. It's not much I know, but it's a start


DogHammers

I liked the whack with the baton the moment he was tackled too. The bloke's holding a crowbar so obviously a perfectly reasonable initial action. I was hoping for a few more proper whacks but the twat dropped it and got piled on so there was no more. Still a satisfying video even if the justice system does next to fuck all to him.


ihatemyself887

The last time I saw this video posted a few months back I remember the first comment being someone shitting on the cop who hit him with the baton for using excessive force. Personally I feel it’s justified. As you said, the guy is holding what could be used as a deadly weapon, and I don’t feel like people who have such little respect for others should be treated with respect.


sincebolla

I was waiting for the vat of boiling oil!


jaymavs

I was expecting a flower pot.


QuestionMarkyMark

This was the right expectation.


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ShineOnYouFatOldSun

Do you keep a bucket of piss and shit around just for such occasions or is there another reason?


angrytortilla

Under the circumstances I think I could make it happen spontaneously


ThirdDragonite

Stupid robber doesn't even understand basic siege tactics


AshFraxinusEps

He should be using a Trebuchet?


thexavier666

The superior siege weapon, obviously


TalesToAstonish

For this close of quarters, a battering ram would suffice.


i_am_rationality

I thought that at the beginning. Then, when I saw him try to pry the doors open, I expected a large dog to come at him as soon as he got them open.


koolaid7431

I don't know if it's because of my to proximity to America. But I expected him to get shot at when he opened the door.


ifonlyiwereahippo

I thought they were gonna throw some boiling water or oil on them like in the olden days


Human_Evolution

Like the olden days when defending the castle. They would pour all kinds of terrible things on the attackers.


xAstro_YT

Yeah, like a brick. Home alone 2 style.


damattmissile

Like this! https://youtu.be/r-CgKBx34sI


binkerfluid

That smile after caving Marvs head in


jefferson497

Suck brick, kid!!


Suojelusperkele

Flower pot would've been perfect. Sorry officers, my palm-tree-in-a-bucket was catching some fresh air and as I peeked to watch the robber it just fell on its own!


FinanceGuyHere

Oh shit, did I knock over my cactus?


Extreme-Nothing-7812

I was expecting a paint can. Home Alone style.


cwj1978

I was thinking boiling water or a shitty baby diaper. lol


linderlouwho

Or the contents of a full cat-litter box!


SethGekco

Not sure If I'm in the right but I was fantasizing dropping a bowling ball on his head.


TheAtomicBobert

I like this Bugs Bunny style of justice


GreyCrowDownTheLane

I'd accidentally spill my pot of boiling hot tea out the window when I saw this. The shock of seeing him would cause me to just lose my grip and drop the entire stewpot full of boiling tea. I couldn't help it, officer. It's none of your business why I like to brew it by the stewpot, either, nor is it any of your business why I put so much sugar in it. Yep. Poor fella. Too bad about those second and third-degree burns. I'm sure he'll heal up fine in the prison infirmary.


2018redditaccount

There I was, deep frying out my second-floor window when I was startled by a man attempting to break in. I was so startled that I spilled all of the oil on him. Clumsy me


IAlphaTrex

Least sociopathic redditor


emngaiden

"Oh do you want my fridge?"


cdyer706

Yes, I thought molten tar, boiling water, or even hot tea on his head! The cops are not what I expected but it is satisfying haha


Rostrow416

I was expecting some kind of Home Alone style brick to the face, but this was good too.


Shaneblaster

A potted plant would’ve done the trick


SinisterDexter83

Yeah, I was hoping for something comedically breakable to get dropped on him. China teapot, cuckoo clock, something like that.


DepressionMain

this is such a kind thread, my first thought was ''my grandpa would have poured boiling oil as soon as he could see his face''


DogHammers

I was going to ask why does he keep hot oil on the go all the time but in fairness, that guy was breaking in for long enough you'd have time to get it ready with a good hob.


DepressionMain

Also my grandpa was a chef who loved food so you'd find him in the kitchen trying something out at the most random times. So maybe not boiling oil but some random kitchen shit would 100% have hit the guy


squad1alum

Acme safe


fuzzybad

Baby grand piano


nojustice73

That spare Grandfather clock you've been looking to get rid of.


LordGopu

Planty the Potted Plant would have fucked him up.


Complexity_OH

Came here to say this. Im glad he got arrested but a swinging paint can get to lay him out would have been nice. They way he casually said alright u got me, really bothered me.


infiniZii

I was just thinking "Pour paint on him" and tell the cops to look for the purple dude.


FrenchFreedom888

Lmao


sonnytron

“Couldn’t we just…” *strangle motion* “First of all that’s horrible…” “It’s *Thanos*…”


THEmoron21

u/thepurpledude8


sideshowdel74

I vote for burning pitch and tell the cops to look for the burning dude.


SharqPhinFtw

Probably saw the glass shards getting real close to his eyes and needed a situation defusing thing to say.


IdiotTurkey

> They way he casually said alright u got me I feel like this is because it was in the UK. It seems like even criminals are more polite there.


[deleted]

Nah those 10 gallon-paint-your-whole-house buckets woulda been my choice.


BUFBills_AfricasTeam

Bro, do you know how expensive paint is? 5 Gal of Exterior Barn and fence paint is still like $90.


NYYankees1958

Top it off by placing live tarantula on his face.


Doomdoomkittydoom

Said it like he was pissed off that they were inconveniencing him.


Flat_Bodybuilder_175

I was SPECIFICALLY waiting for a face brick, so the cops were such a wild turn


Successful-Engine623

Nice patience to not yell and wait for cops. Not sure I’d have done that


Dink-Dank-Do

The top of the toilet system would have been perfect.


CantHitachiSpot

Cistern


jimmi_vandelay

That will actually kill a person


Dink-Dank-Do

You have never seen Home Alone.


syko82

You have never seen Boondock Saints. (Happy cake day)


TollBoothW1lly

He's goin fuckin nowhere. WHERE YOU GOIN? NOWHERE!


commiesstackeasily

I thought a 12ga shotgun was perfect.


complexmechanics

Only if Kevin was at home.


wawawahewawahe

SUCK BRICK KID!


HellaFella420

Boiling sugar water, keep it Medieval England 🇬🇧


fontana82

Its in Scotland.


SirPepeSilva

Like the wife who killed her husband like this because she thought that he was molesting her child. https://www.the-sun.com/news/3258105/wife-killed-husband-after-sex-abuse-claims/


HellaFella420

Wowzers, takin' care of business


nuesse33

I too thought that was what would happen! Great result nonetheless!


Neuroticzz

OP doesent have a big brick to drop :(


EdgeCityRed

I was patiently waiting for the cauldron of boiling oil to drop from that window. I read too many stories set in castles.


QueenCityCartel

I was hoping for boiling hot water, oil if you really wanted to be a dick.


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QueenCityCartel

I see you!


Good_Round

Tar and feathers if you want to be old fashioned.


Dhump06

I like how the cop just came in and smacked his butt right away without any warning.


Hakuna_my_Matata

even better was the dudes cry "AYHHYH YOU GOT ME!"


orbituary

I loved "Up you get!" at the end when they're putting him on his feet.


Gilgameshbrah

This had me in stitches. "Please don't hurt meeee"


weshric

Ahhhhh yah goooot meh!


PsySam89

It's the back of the knee, you're not getting far after a couple of those strikes


Pillars-In-The-Trees

Thigh, not knee, they want to cause pain without crippling people.


louschell

Wow. They don’t even want to cripple people, much less kill them. What is it like to live in that world?


showerfapper

Well ya get a proper whack with the ol Billy club from time to time. Police in US are brainwashed to believe they are in mortal danger at all times.


Fight_the_bastards

And the crazy part? In 2020 and 2021, more cops in the US have died from covid than from all other causes *combined*. And police forces are still full of dumb chuds that refuse to get vaccinated. But they never forget their body armor and trauma plates…


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Gullflyinghigh

I'm sure others will be along with some, just as valid, other observations shortly on UK police but I would agree. I've never been in trouble myself, but there have been occasions when I was younger and out with mates where they've given us a look to calm things down or make us question certain choices. There was also one instance where a few of my fellow drinkers decided, on the walk home, to distribute a bunch of the free magazines estate agents put out for people to take. They were stopped by the police a few roads down, one wearing a sandwich board and the other holding a box of magazines, and had it politely suggested that they might want to go and put everything back as it was. Hilarious for those of us who hadn't joined in, the coppers also had a giggle once the two had drunkenly wandered off to fix their wrongs.


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MastaCheeph

That doesn't sound real at all to me. That in and of itself is sad.


AshFraxinusEps

>They were stopped by the police a few roads down, one wearing a sandwich board and the other holding a box of magazines, and had it politely suggested that they might want to go and put everything back as it was Yep, I've literally had this before twice. They'll catch you near where the stuff is and semi-jokingly and semi-assertively say put it back. Nothing else other than maybe a "don't do it again" But yeah, they are there to support the community and prevent crime. So no point in coming down hard on most people. This was coming down on a guy with a crowbar breaking into a house, possibly on drugs, so they'll take him down hard


mornnx1

Yeah I find it a little bit reassuring that our "Bobbys" aren't armed. In America he would have had a gun pointed at him with the copper shouting to " GET DOWN " whereas here they Sneak up behind these scrots and....WHAM!!! There goes your knee me lado !


moldy_carrot

imagine if he screams 'Harder daddy'


bingold49

Then rub his face in the glass he broke


cirenosu

Looks like a good time to take a piss out the window


Gilgameshbrah

Then again, what time isn't?


Own-Tomato8593

Diarrhea time


raftah99

he would have ran then before the cops came


ganymede_boy

I want those doors.


Ranger343

So did he


HapticMercury

According to the title, he was taking the whole house.


therealcnn

Wow. Well there’s definitely a market for it! Even though I don’t know how, considering the number of daily deaths nowadays…


h0lytoledo

As an American visiting London and seeing the doors blew my mind. They have hooks that go into the frame! It made me feel like my door back home is shit and wouldn't stop anyone from breaking in.


Chromana

I've heard it said that the whole frame will come away from the house before the door comes off the frame with a proper strong PVC door.


ChrisKearney3

The locking mechanism is broken on my bathroom window. We had a window guy come out, he was at it for about 30 mins but couldn't budge it. Only course of action is to replace the entire UPVC frame.


Spectacularity

This thread makes me feel much better about spending £2000 on new front and back doors.


Frosty-Helicopter-22

As a person having seen american doors, your doors ARE shit.. same as your single pane windows closed by a pathetic piece of old metal on top..


h0lytoledo

I agree our doors are shit. The only buildings that have single paned windows are older structures. The majority of newer buildings are double paned and filled with Argon to prevent heat transfer.


pineapple_calzone

I have never seen a single pane window in this country that wasn't made on a fire thought to be fueled by phlogiston.


somemonkeys

As a Finnish person having seen both your doors, windows and build quality, I am surprised anyone needs keys at all. I mean, front doors going inward for instance, that’s madness. Single or double glazing? Sheesh. Doors thick as bricks opening outward with hard core locking and triple glazed windows with argon (or similar) is the way to go. Edit: corrected sentence


makeitlouder

> front doors going inward [...] that’s madness ... > Doors [...] goin inward [...] is the way to go. ... I'm confused about which way you want my doors to go exactly.


hitemlow

Up like a cat flap, clearly.


2happyhippos

At least in Canada, our doors open inward so that we can't get snowed in in the winter lol.


FraggleStone187

Right?! First thing I said while watching this was "who the fuck made that door?!"


Nathan-Stubblefield

The old guy seems to be the world’s weakest burglar.


EmrysRuinde

It is surprisingly hard to tear through s well built door, when it's not made of fiberboard and sugar glass like the movies. It took 4 young guys and a big piece of lumber to smash down a set of double patio doors when we were young and full of energy. And the glass didn't even shatter, it literally just fell out of the frame from being hit so much. Also we weren't robbers, it was a condemned house.


RainyRat

multi-point cammed latches are common on residential doors; they've got half-a-dozen latches around the frame, that you engage by pulling the handle up when you close the door. It looks like Raffles here was crowbar-ing each one individually.


EdWilkinson

> Also we weren't robbers, it was a condemned house. Way to ruin a good story.


TheArtfulDanger

Really missed a good opportunity for the ol paint can on a rope trap...


StardustVT

Well, he did get a face full of broken glass. How's that as a consolation?


appdevil

That was for his additional insulation.


alexefy

“Do you guys give up, or are you thirsty for more”


LudicrousStead

Why does this dude look so old.


Zimmer_94

Meth, probably


neversayalways

As this is Scotland, heroin is more likely. Or maybe crack.


TheMeltingDevil

Itll be heroin


Ser_Danksalot

For some reason, meth has never really taken hold in the UK. Heroin is the go to hard drug of choice. https://theconversation.com/why-meth-hasnt-broken-bad-in-the-uk-18708


Iwasjustbullshitting

What the article failed to mention is how long the buzz lasts. With crack and heroin you get a faster turnaround of customers than meth so it's not in any dealers interest to introduce it. Also the UK tabloids ran a lot of "before and after" shots of meth addicts as the drug was growing in the USA.


westiemaps

Sadly it’s more likely heroin, big thing for junkies here in Scotland.


herodothyote

Drugs will age you prematurely


Bigducktendies

That was amusing.


corvosfighter

Try to break and enter during day time, make a ton of noise and waste time playing tug of war with the door.. what could go wrong?


BlackoutWB

The day is the most common time for break ins actually. Mostly because of people being off to work, limiting the amount of witnesses and the chance of the homeowner being there.


QzJINU9I

You break into homes during the day and businesses during the night. Unless you're planning for an armed robbery, you _usually_ wanna show up when no one's around.


aDirtyMartini

I was waiting for an ACME anvil to land on him.


hardypart

Things people in this thread would have liked to see getting dropped on his head: - Brick - Paint can - Boiling kettle - Piss - TV - Flower pot - ACME anvil - Bowling ball - Ice bucket - A hello and some bullets - Dumbbell


Maxwyfe

The urge to drop a television on top of him was almost too much for me.


memo_delta

These modern day flat screens wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as one of the old type TVs that were a metre deep.


PornStarJesus

Oi you got a liocense for that Telly?


Maxwyfe

Nope! That's why I'm tossing it out the window. If a burglar is unlucky enough to be standing right there when I do it, well that's on him.


PornStarJesus

"I was surrendering my telly to the enquiry officer when this gentleman darkened my doostep."


Spirited_Warning8203

I would have had a very hard time not dropping something right on his head!


smuttypirate

The medieval in me wants to see a nice pot of hot tar dumped out of that window


NotSoPersonalJesus

This is why I keep a shit bucket in the attic.


Itsmethematt

…and then definitely feathers


[deleted]

A smelly brown log


Any-Management-4562

I would’ve just taken a piss on him from the second floor


darksideofthemoon131

Yeah but then you'd distract him and he'd run and likely not get caught and do this to someone else. The patience was astounding


AweDaw76

The guy will get like a 3 month suspended sentence, who are we kidding here


jkbestermann

"Now a little more to the left...." "OI CUNT TRY THIS!" * *Bonk**


Xae_sthetic

Bro tried to steal the whole house? That’s a little over ambitious in my opinion


Mikaboshi

Nono, house thief as opposed to outdoor thief. This one is domesticated but has lost some of his wild instincts.


HapticMercury

Right, you'll notice this docile little guy allowed the officers to approach without getting spooked. A feral thief would've heard them coming AND probably noticed the homeowner directly overhead with their phone out.


CaptainRAVE2

I love the exchanges. ‘Argh, yah got me’. ‘Put your fookin hands behind yer back’. Love it. Love the Scots.


padizzledonk

How is no one mentioning that this dude appears to be a 1000 years old? Wtf lol


PsySam89

Hes a junkie mate, they age at triple the speed


Doomdoomkittydoom

And bust in at 1/4th the speed.


PsySam89

Aye they lack a bit of finesse and cunning


CantHitachiSpot

How did someone so shite at burglary attain such an age?


chinosabi

hahahaha was expecting some Looney Tunes action and drop something big on em..the night stick takedown was great tho


DementedSpawnArts

I’d have boiled a kettle and thrown it over him


Cycleguy91

He was taking so long you would have had time to


endangerednigel

In Britain the kettle is always boiled or boiling


free_billstickers

I was hoping for an ice bucket challenge


Jade_Lilly_420

I can't have been the only one thinking the dude was going to piss on him in the first 30 seconds...


indianaman1979

ahhhhh - you got me!!!


Rude_Charity2109

I was expecting boiling hot water poured on him.


boomshakalakaah

I would have taken a leak on the guy


CinnabarCereal

I was expecting something to get dropped on him


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